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Do gaslighters know what they are doing? This is a common question asked of the psychological abuse tactic intended to manipulate others into questioning their own sanity. The term came from the 1938 British play Gas Light, which depicted a charming husband who slowly manipulates his wife through isolation and tactful deception in a malicious attempt to make her lose her mind. His intent was to harm, as well as establish power and control- which are fundamental attributes when defining gaslight... read more >>

Your attachment style helps determine how healthy (and happy) your relationships are — and there’s a lot you can do to change it. When exploring what brings people joy, healthy relationships are at the top of the list. And, for highly sensitive people (HSPs), the quality of their relationships is even more crucial — because they are more deeply affected by the people around them. Feeling “secure,” meaning each person is accessible, consistent, safe and emotionally responsive, is... read more >>

Most of us experience it from time to time, a belief that we are just not good enough or worse, a fear of being “found out” as a fraud. These feelings can be fleeting for some, but for those who struggle with imposter syndrome it can fuel an internalized pressure to perform, perfect and achieve- leading to two distinct responses of either over-functioning or shutting down. ... read more >>

The holidays are arguably one of the most high-risk times for chronic forms of family gaslighting can occur. Throughout the year, you may have been able to distance yourself physically or mentally from a gaslighter, even if you live nearby. Yet during the holidays, it is common to get everyone together with the expectation that people will get along and be, well, merry. ... read more >>

I was happy to be quoted in an article on brides.com “Being passive aggressive occurs when someone is trying to indirectly express negative feelings as opposed to sharing them openly,” explains trauma-informed therapist Amelia Kelley. “It does not always occur through verbal communication, but can also happen when someone withholds effort, doesn't follow through with tasks, withdrawals from interaction, or purposefully sabotages situations and relationships.” Basically, someone tri... read more >>

You may have been told it’s all in your head. But what if HSPs really do feel pain more intensely? I remember the look on my dentist’s face when I asked for yet another round of Novocain as he dug into my tooth, performing a long overdue root canal (thank you, COVID-19 lockdown!). He remarked that most people he treated never asked for the amount I needed.  He was probably right — because most people he treated, around 70 percent of the population, are not highly sensitive peop... read more >>

Two days before my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I wrote him a letter. (To protect his privacy, let’s call him Dan.) Dan and I had been dating for three months, and during that time, I believed I was in a healthy relationship. Never mind that we got into pointless arguments or that Dan was quick to call me out on my faults. What mattered was that we cared about each other and wanted this relationship to work. But here's the thing: I wasn't being completely honest with myself. Deep down, ... read more >>

My name is Dr. Amelia Kelley and I am a trauma-informed therapist and advocate for survivors of domestic violence and other forms of relationship trauma. With 20 years of experience as a therapist, I have seen first-hand the impact that gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse can have on survivors as well as gaslighting often found in marginalized areas in our society. In addition to counseling, I am a coach, professor and public speaker, and have had the honor of speaking with severa... read more >>

A persistent need for admiration and regular manipulation efforts are possible signs your wife is living with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissism itself isn’t a disorder. It occurs on a spectrum like many other personality traits. On one end is acceptable self-love that helps motivate and maintain self-esteem.  On the other end of the spectrum is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a mental health condition featuring patterns of self-love that disregard others'... read more >>

In her anthem “My Type,” Saweetie lays out all of the things she looks for in a romantic partner—down to how much money he earns and what kind of car he drives. (And even, ahem, how well-endowed he is.) While not everyone has a wishlist as specific as the rapper’s, research does back up the idea that people have particular romantic “types” they gravitate toward—sometimes over and over again. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean that everyone is content to sti... read more >>

Dating can be difficult for most people, but for an echoist, it can prove to be even more challenging. On the extreme opposite from narcissists—who seek admiration and special treatment, lack empathy, feel a sense of entitlement, and often react negatively to criticism—are echoists who fear being perceived as having any of those traits. In an effort not to seem narcissistic, echoists tend to overcorrect their thoughts and behaviors leading them to lack “healthy narcissism,” which... read more >>

The news has been consumed with the devastation from the Israel-Hamas War that broke out just one week ago. As parents, we hope to preserve the time when our children believe in mythical creatures instead of being aware that people who want to hurt others exist. It can feel overwhelming as a parent to know how to navigate our own feelings around the war, let alone know how to shield or inform our own children about what is happening. ... read more >>